Dear Dad
How’s heaven? You’re probably having so much fun catching up with old friends and family. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year already since you left us. We miss you so very much. I think about you every single day and at night I occasionally still cry myself to sleep. But I know you are in a better place. Everywhere I go I am reminded of you. From the long drives that I now take reminds me of our long drives. My walk in the woods reminds me of the walks we took when we went hunting (even though you and I were both terrible hunters and I think you never even killed a deer in your 30+ years hunting but it was fun to watch you try). To even something as simple as the wind breathing on my skin. I wonder if you’re trying to lead me somewhere or tell me something or just say hello. That gets me excited to think about you. I just wanted to take this time to let the world know how awesome you were and still are. You set a great example of not just being a great father but a Godly father. As your health declined over the years your faith increased and I didn’t understand why. Honestly I was bitter and angry at God but you weren’t. But now I’m starting to understand why. I shouldn’t blame God for the years that I was suppose to have with you but for the years that I did have with you and it was those years that I had with you that I’m standing here today on my two feet. You showed me what hard work looked like coming from almost nothing and you showed me a gift that I can share with people today, photography! You gave me my first camera, loaded my first roll of film and paid to develop it even when we didn’t have much. That changed everything. Who would of thought that I’d be doing something I love even though it terrifies me at times. I’m uncertain about my future, I’m scared of failing and also not knowing where I’m suppose to be in life but now I’m not so scared. I will learn to trust in God more. I know He has a plan for me. Who knows how long I’m able to do this for or where exactly or if there is a different plan for me but I’m excited to share what my earthly and heavenly father has given. I hope I make you both proud.
I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you again!
